


Because You Live

by YlvaakaAvala



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Chrovos is Genkins, F/M, M/M, Mention of sex, Song: Because You Live, Tears, Time Travel, Two Agent Washingtons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 06:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19388617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YlvaakaAvala/pseuds/YlvaakaAvala
Summary: Traveling the Ever-When; Washington and Donut fall in love. Both know it’s only going to lead to one thing, Heartbreak for the other.  Re-write to then ending of Season 17.I don't own Red vs Blue or the song: Because you Live. any and all rights are of their creators.





	Because You Live

**Author's Note:**

> So I cried a lot writing this so tissues might be handy to have. It does end happy, I swear.

Washington lifted his head slightly. Donut’s head pillowed by his chest. They were both covered in sweat and semen. They both agreed it was for the best if they didn’t fall in love with the other. Better for the whole team if they never hooked up. This time rate now; it was all time that never should be.

  
God did it hurt to be reminded how much he used to be Donut of the freelancers. None of them took him seriously. Yet he turned around and did the very same thing to Donut who had brain damage. For the most part the guy didn’t know the shit he said sounded wrong. Seeing him fight so hard to change that in the Ever-when. Donut was fighting so hard to bring the reds and blues back together. Donut who was being told at every turn he was worthless. His effort was moot. No one would love him. He couldn’t save anyone.

  
Reliving the day he shot Donut over and over again after each failed plan hurt more and more. Donut took it in strides. Yet Washington watched everyone condemn Donut for being tricked; that someone, anyone would care for him. Watched them all demanding to kill the red rookie who said nothing. Just bowed his head and walked away.

Washington fallowed finding Donut in his room where they were laying now, naked. Found Donut on his knees, crying, knife bloody, wrists cut and bleeding yet healing, keeping the other from dying. He gave in and kissed Donut, kissed the red rookie like the life line he was. Donut who fought alone to try and undo the damage he did. He had won! He did it alone yet was a second too late to stop the others from breaking the rest of time and space. Break reality.  


_Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart_  
_It’s the end of the world in my mind_  
_Then your voice pulls me back_  
_Like a wake-up call_

**~Video; Donut’s helmet hidden file~**

**“Donut...I don’t know if your going to see this” Washington’s image was on the hub screen. “I wanted to let you know...that night...Seeing you on the floor so broken like that.” Washington’s voice was thick, watery even.**

**“I never been that scared in my life. Never got so close to failing like what they put the Alpha through. Forcing him to watch Texas die over and over again yet never able to save her.” Washington said head bowing in the recording. “I know that a lot of what you did; believing Chrovos’s lies...It’s my fault.”**

**“I didn’t have to shot you that day. I could have made the effort sooner to get to know you... Maybe we could have had more time...real time together.” Washington said sadly.**

**“I wish I could say I can remember all of this. That after we win, and I know we will because you’ll make sure the reds and blues will make it right. But we both know to fix it I have to get shot again. I have to take the brain damage. I highly doubt I’m going to remember any of this. I’m sorry for that.”**

**“I never want to hurt you again yet it’s all I can ever seem to do to you.” Washington said brokenly. For a moment he just sat there, head down, paused. Slowly Washington raised his head. “It’s why this time Franklin; I’m going to say goodbye. I’m going to do what Alpha couldn’t do. Epsilon would kick my ass for leaving you this. For breaking up with you over a video but there isn’t any other way I could do this.”**

**“I love you but I have to let you go. Set you free. You deserve so much better then what I can give you. You shouldn’t be some private. You shouldn’t put up with the crap you do. You are so much better then any of us ever gave your credit for. You brought me back into the game, got the reds and blues to wake up. You’re a hero. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.” Washington said.**

**“God I want nothing more then for you to make me see you again after all of this is over. I want to spend the rest of my life with you in my bed, at my side. But we both know I’m not going to listen to you. So this is the only thing I can do to be kind and even then; I know it’s still being cruel to you. I really do mean it Franklin. When I told you I love you. That I would die loving you. I guess in away, the man I am now. The one who loves you. Will die in a few hours maybe days from now, to make things right.” Washington said before the screen the went blank.**  


_I've been looking for the answer_  
_Somewhere_  
_I couldn't see that it was right there_  
_But now I know, what I didn't know_

**~Video: Washington’s Helmet hidden file~**

**“Wash...” Donut said brokenly. “God there is so much to say yet not a whole lot of time to say it...” Donut started again. “I guess the biggest part of it is that I love you and that this...”**

**“What happens....happened to me isn’t your fault David. You being there or not; it wouldn’t save my life. I was always going to die at Temples hands. I can see that now. Just like you always had to get shot in the neck. Had to get sick from it...” Donut took his helmet off. Wiping the tears that were only on the left side of his face away. His azure eye held so much heartbreak, pain yet love. A love so deep, pure. The right side so badly scarred, the whole eye lost years before.**

**“You gave me one night...one night where I didn’t question where I was or what I was doing. If my life mattered. So it makes dying this time around both better and so much harder to do.” He said softly, the tears never stopping.**

**“It’s okay to forget me. It’s okay to hate me, to loath me for this. You should give Carolina a second chance. You should let yourself love her. Fuck, guess this is how Epsilon felt making his goodbye video for us...” Donut chuckled but there was no joy to it, just pain, sorrow and a heaviness to him.**

**“Take care of them the best you can Wash. Don’t close the reds and blues out of your heart, your life like you cut me out. They make you a better man. It’s the reason I backed you over Locus. I forgive you David. I. Forgive. You!” Donut stressed that part. “I hope you live a long happy life. That you and the others; you guys get that peace you all wanted so much.” Donut said, pausing for a moment. “I love you David; Goodbye Wash” he added softly before the footage cut out.**  


_Because you live and breathe_  
_Because you make me believe in myself_  
_When nobody else can help_  
_Because you live girl_  
_My world_  
_Has twice as many stars in the sky_

Everyone stood together at the edge of the black hole. The creature of the labyrinth watched Donut carefully. How could he not, he wasn’t just dead, he had been ripped apart by the very power of time he had. It was why Genkins...Chrovos could never stop Donut.

“You know what has to happen next don’t you?” He asked; Donut nodded before hanging his head.

“Yeah...we have one final correction to time to make. Wash has to get shot again... I have to die” Donut added the last part meekly. Everyone looked at him.

“I’m sorry what?” Tucker asked.

“Donut?” Carolina asked hurt and pain in her voice.

“I’m sorry child." The child he created last. The child who was the one who could only live to keep him sealed. "There is nothing any of us gods can do to change your fate now.” The creature said.

“I know...it was the biggest joke of my existence rate now.” Donut said head hung for a moment before he lifted his head and looked at Sarge. “It was a good day to die though” He said trying like hell to be the strong one still. To be okay with the fact he had to die.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Washington asked; the hurt so clear.

“Because you would blame yourself for getting shot. Because the time we spend traveling the Ever-when together...none of it would happen if you knew I died. You couldn’t have saved me, no one could have. My fate was sealed the moment Temple turned Loco’s machine on. I wanted as much time as I could get where you weren’t ignoring me, loathing me. I wanted as much time as I could get where you guys needed me, saw me again since I got the blue flag on my first day in Blood Gulch” Donut said so brokenly. Doc put his hand on Donut’s shoulder.

“It isn’t fair” Doc said softly.

“Yeah well welcome to my shitty life.” Donut said bitterly. Pulling away walking towards the door the portal opened that would lead to Chrovos

“He will mock you more” The creature said softly.

“I know but the longer we drag this out... the more we risk him getting free again.” Donut said leaning beside the door. Washington stood there. He didn’t want to get shot, didn’t want to get hurt again, he got what Donut felt. The red rookie didn’t want to go to his death yet he was the one still leading all of them. He stood there drinking in the sight of the him. The last time he could see, love and admire the other male who stayed loyal to the team that forsaken him so many times.

“Come on Wash” Carolina said sadly standing beside Donut who was looking at the ground again. He sighed walking towards them but not the portal. He walked up to Donut.

“I wont forget you” He promised.

“We both know you can’t promise that one Wash. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay.” Donut said trying like hell to comfort him. Washington cupped the other’s helmet with his hand. “It’s a quick death Wash...I didn’t even know I died till Chrovos brought me back” Donut lied to Washington.

“I really wish I could kiss you again...it feels wrong doing this without one” Washington said.

“It’s only going to make it harder to do what has to be done. We have to play our parts to fix their mess...my mess and it sucks.” Donut said

“You believe me when I say I love you right?” Washington asked.

“Yeah Wash...I believe it. Who knows maybe there is a reality out there where this never happened yet we still fell in love, got to explore that love and see where it took us.” Donut said softly. “Maybe in the afterlife of this one...we get to remember this, get to reconnect again” Donut said trying to give him hope.

Washington sighed before walking into the portal. He already left Donut his goodbye message. He couldn’t bring himself to voice it. If he did now...he couldn’t wouldn’t be able to soldier on. Wouldn’t be able to do what he was about to do and he knew it.

 _It's all right._  
_I survived._  
_I'm alive again_  
_Cause of you, made it through every storm_  
_What is life? what's the use?_  
_If you're killing time_

Chrovos looked as one by one the reds and blues returned. She sighed hating that this was the only option she had left in the end. The last child she made. The one who was so starved for attention, love was the one who brought her to this point, always brought her back to this. When she was Genkin’s she couldn’t see the irony of the last child being the strongest. To entrap him in the past, to create the others, the weapons that built this.

Chrovos took on Genkin’s look once more. “You did good Donut” He said softly seeing him come back last. “I hate that in the end you betrayed me too child but you were so much stronger then the others. You trapped me better then any of the others could even with the weapons.” Chrovos said not trying to mock for once.

“Would you still have kept me alive if I had let you go free?” Donut asked sounding so broken, so sad.

“No, you served the purpose I had made you for at that point. I made you to be Salvation. I just didn’t know who it would be for when I did it. I had hoped it was my salvation, the end of my stay in this hellish place.” the Creature stepped out of the portal to watch. Chrovos growled at it.

Donut walked up to the wall touching it seeing the one tiny branch that had been there since Donut created the wall. His head laid against the wall. Chrovos stood there watching. The other said nothing. “Donut...you know we wont let you die alone this time right?” Tucker asked breaking the silence.

“You guys have to. It has to play out like it did the first time around. You guys left me the first time around. You have to do it this time around to or all of this...everything we just did...it was for nothing.” Donut said hollowly.

“You could stay here with me. We could watch this wall break piece by piece till I’m free once more, leave the crack how it is now.” Chrovos offered. Washington so badly wanted to say yes to that. Donut pushed off the wall.

“Nope” Donut said sounding almost happy, like nothing was wrong. “ You need a time out mister, you’ve hurt a lot of people, till you know what that means, till you are really sorry about it, you get to stay in time out.” Donut said scolding him in the way that only Donut could do.

“So you will take your death?”

“What can I say; It was a good day to die” Donut said turning on his heels facing the reds and blues. “Don’t fuck it up this time Tucker. I wont be around to clean your shit up anymore” Donut said.

Tucker hugged Donut tightly. “I don’t care if you have to haunt one of us. Make a deal with a devil or some shit. You find your way to come back home to us Donut” Tucker said sounding like he was crying. “If you can’t...tell Church, we miss him. That we still think he’s a jackass but he was our jackass. Save us a place with you guys okay?” Tucker asked in the hug. Donut hugged back.

“Okay” Donut said because there was nothing else he could say to that. “Take care of our freelancers...Tucker, Don’t forget about their pain like you guys did to me. Don’t forget each other okay?”

“I really am sorry” Tucker said as Donut let him go, looking towards Washington. Now that he was looking at his best friend he could see the heartbreak in the way he stood.

“Guess we should go pay our dues huh?” He said yet really sounded like he didn’t want to.

Chrovos laughed, laughed hard at that. Donut still was the cosmic joke. The one being he couldn’t kill, yet his pain was so delightful to watch. Having the love of the freelancer he pinned for, for years finally loving him, gave him the strength to keep fighting, to stand against him yet it was the last piece of the wall to back. “Oh this is rich...I don’t think I could have planned for fate being such a cruel bitch.” He laughed out.

Washington looked from Donut to the trapped god who was laughing. He really hated how little the being thought of Donut. How the other used him, toyed with him. Now laughing at his pain, their pain. Donut just walked up to the portal the creature was leaning against. “You know what to do?”

“Atlas and the others will be shown everything your friends have done little brother. Their rewards will still be granted. You never did say what it was that you wanted for helping us” He said to Donut softly.

“The dead have no wants, no desires once I died again...not even the reds and blues will remember any of this. It will be like it never happened.” Donut said. His back to the others.

“What?!” Sarge said.

“But...I want to remember this...you? You haven’t stepped up like this since Shark-lady was around” Caboose said. “I missed this you” He added. The portal changed to the frozen moment before the gun fight that got Washington hurt.

“I never did say what I wanted for my reward” Carolina said she was watching Washington who stood there, looking so broken and alone. She put her hand on his back. “I want us to remember this adventure, to remember Donut” She said to the Creature she had spared against.

“It can’t be granted, the only one who can is Chrovos who is powerless rate now.” the god was still laughing.

“This is glorious, I’m going to enjoy reliving this moment time and time again.” He laughed out. Washington let out a sigh before standing fully up. He looked over everyone.

“Let’s go save the universe guys.” He said. He took Carolina’s hand and hold it tightly for a moment. Carolina held on just as tightly.

“Donut...”Simmons said. “Face me for a moment” Simmons asked. As Grif and Sarge each stood beside him. Donut looked at them, all of them saluted them. “It’s been an honour having you on the red team. You got us the flag first. You killed Texas and took out a tank with a hell of a throw. You survived more shit then any of us.” Simmons said.

“I don’t know when you stopped being our rookie but somewhere along the way you became a full soldier and we never saw it. You got Doyle to step up and unite Chorus. Got Locus to join in the end.” Grif carried on.

“Even if no one else makes it official. In the eyes of the red team Donut. I here by grant you the rank of Major” Sarge said his voice watery.

Donut stood there stunned before the Red team as a whole walked past him and into the portal. Caboose patted his back fallowing. Doc hugged him. “You’ll always be part of blue team man” Tucker said as he fallowed the others. Washington said nothing going to face being shot again. Donut got that.

“Donut...”

“It’s okay Care-bear.”Donut said softly. “He loved you before he ever saw me. The gods can’t give me what I want but you can.” Donut said walking up to her. “Take care of our man for me. Don’t let his past consume him again. Don’t let him forget he has a home, a place among you guys. Chrovos can’t let you remember this but I can if you really want that Care-bear. You’ll be the only one who will remember this.” Donut said.

“Someone has to remember this who isn’t the jackass who is still laughing.” Carolina said. “I can take being the only one who remembers.” Donut took his helmet off, before taking Carolina’s helmet off. He leaned in and kissed her.

 _I'm so glad I found an angel_  
_Someone_  
_Who was there when all my hopes fell_  
_I want to fly looking your eyes_

Donut tried not to scream as pain tore through his body. He scrolled through the files in his helmet. Memories he saved over the years. There was one file he found that he didn’t know what it was. He watched the video Washington made for him. The goodbye that Washington could never say to his face. He question if it had been real when Washington didn’t say anything close to a goodbye. He had, did it in a way that he could do it last. Where no one else could ruin it.

Donut replayed the video on loop, even as his bones snapped within his body. The power of time itself shreddering his flesh. He was decaying and healing at the same rate. Yet trapped within his own armor. He cried re-watching and watching the goodbye form his Washington. The man who kissed him with so much passion that he was lost and could do nothing else but surrender to it, to the Washington’s will.

“I love you too my David...my god” Donut whispered with his last breath. His body laying in a pool of blood still seeping out from his armor. His body only held together in a human like body form because of the armor itself. It was more like mash made out of a body.

By the time Carolina ran back into the room. His head was just as much of a ooze like mush as his body. She took her helmet off dropping to her knees beside his body. She wanted to touch him. Shake him awake yet under the armor, his body didn’t look right. The blood that shouldn’t be pooling around him yet was. She heard the others walking in seeing what the hell she was doing. Heard them stop talking, stop walking.

“Damn it...” She growled throwing her helmet. “Damn you Donut!” She screamed into the room that felt so much larger then it was, so wrong in here. Yet her head rested on the pink chest plate as she cried. Cried the tears that the others could never cry. Felt the lost deeper then anyone else would ever felt. “You were fucking wrong Ep” She cried. “He wasn’t the indestructible one” She felt like she was going crazy. Epsilon was gone, been gone for so long yet rate now in this moment of time, in this room. It felt like the ghosts of the past were there with them. She broke down to a crying mess that couldn’t talk.

“Since when was Donut and Carolina dating?” Tucker’s voice rang out sounding like an insensitive prick.

“I thought she and Wash were together with how they were after going off on their own looking for Church while we were with the blues and reds.” Simmons said.

Caboose numbly walked forward. He picked up her helmet, hooking it to his waist before hooking his own helmet beside her’s. His gloves in his helmet. He put his hand on her back. Carolina looked up at him crouched on the other side of Donut’s body.  
His grey-blue eyes were full of sorrow and pain, tears lined them. “He doesn’t belong here. He was better then this place...” Caboose said softly. “Sister....get a body bag please.” He said

“Ca-boose?” Carolina chocked his name out.

“He comes home to Chorus with us. We’ll give him the funeral worthy of his sacrifice. On the cliff that over looked home so he could always see what we are doing. So he can always watch over us. Protect us like he did all this time.” He said simply, child like. He was still sad, still hurting.

Jensen brought the body bag over. Smith brought a tarp and rope. Caboose pointed where to put the tarp then the body bag open. He then picked up Donut’s broken body. It sagged in all the wrong ways, blood and oozed flesh dripped. Donut’s Helmet fell to the floor. Half filled with the mush like remains. Caboose put the body in the bag. Put the helmet in the bag as close to where it should have been. Carolina turned away to throw up. She wasn’t the only one. Sister, Simmons, Grif, Jensen and Bitters all had the same reaction. Sarge fell to his knees watching as Caboose used his hands trying to collect as much of Donut’s remains he could not caring that his hands were covered in blood and who knows what other parts of Donut’s body.

Smith put his hand on Cabooses shoulder seeing his leader tremble. Seeing him crying silently trying to get all of his fallen friend that he could. He stopped Caboose without a word. Taking over zipping up the body bag before wrapping the tarp in way that they would lose nothing more of the fallen hero. He took it upon himself to carefully pick Donut up, as if he was a child made of glass.

“I’ll secure him on the ship to bring him home” He said to Caboose who nodded still on the ground looking at the blood on the floor, on his hands.

“We should wrap up here...Go see how Wash is, get Carolina to Grey after what she’s been through” Tucker said yet no one moved. The shock was too much at the moment.

 _Because you live and breathe_  
_Because you make me believe in myself_  
_When nobody else can help_  
_Because you live girl_  
_My world_  
_Has twice as many stars in the sky_

Kimball glared at Locus who sat beside Washington who was still alive, but they nearly lost him. He stayed and Santa played the message he got from Carolina to stay with Washington till they arrived on Chorus. That has been two days ago. She looked at General Thompson who was the UNSC leader there to help bring Chorus under the UNSC protection. He joined her in the medical bay.

“Good to see you awake again Wash” She said to Washington who looked at her blinking his steel eyes for a moment like he didn’t know her. Then he smiled weakly. She smiled back not in her armor. “You gave us all a bad scare” She said warmly.

“Sorry...where is everyone else?” Washington asked Locus more then her.

“Coming, they had to finish dealing with the Blues and Reds.” Locus said honestly yet something was eating at him. That something really bad happened he just didn’t know what happened.

They all jumped as the doors suddenly opened. Banging off the walls before Simmons and Grif kept them wide open. Caboose rushed, his bare hands dirty by something that caked onto his skin. He brought a bed towards Sarge carrying a tarp something. To his right was Tucker, his left was Carolina. Doc stopped Grey.

“There is nothing you or your staff can do to help.” Doc said keeping Grey back. “You can’t help Donut, but you can help Carolina. She like Wash was starved for days.” He said giving her something to do.

“Donut...What happened to Donut!” Grey demanded from him. Washington forced himself to sit up and look at the body size thing Sarge brought in. The red leader hung his head, his shoulders slumped.

“Tucker?” Kimball asked her voice cracking.

“Take the other side Simmons. Let’s take him the rest of the way to the morgue” Grif said hollowly.

“Caboose, why don’t you go wash up –”

“NO!” Caboose screamed at Simmons, dropping to the ground hugging himself crying. Trying not to touch anything with his hands still covered in Donut’s dry blood. “It’s all I have left of General Danish now...It’s all I have left...” Caboose rocked himself lightly hitting his head on the floor.

Washington pulled out his IV, de-hooked himself from the machines Grey hand him hooked up to. He collapsed to the floor body weak from what he went through yet he crawled over to Caboose hugging the other as tightly as his starved, injured body would let him. “Okay buddy, no one is going to make you do anything” He said feeling lost to what happened. He looked at Tucker and Carolina for answers.

“We got there...to late, walked into Temples trap. He armor locked everyone but Caboose but threaten Caboose that if he moved. Temple would kill Tucker. The machine was already on. Vic shut it down. As it was shutting down, a bolt of Lightning hit Donut... He was fine or said he was, just freaked from getting hit.” Sarge said. “We took Temple out of the room, handed him over to the UNSC forces on Earth. Argued about where to go for food” Sarge said his fists clenching tightly.

“Carolina suddenly ran back into the room. Donut was just laying on the floor...” Tucker took over where Sarge left off. “There was blood around him and it was growing...it shouldn’t have been there. His body didn’t look right” Tucker said brokenly. “He was alive then dead, we don’t know what happened just Carolina broke. She cried, screamed, talked to Epsilon like he was with her still” Tucker said looking at the floor. “Caboose put his body in the body bag...the only thing solid in that bag is his armor suit. His body...all that is left is ooze and blood now” he added.

Grey shook her head. She didn’t believe it yet her legs gave out on her. Santa appeared in the room. “Donut’s armour is still playing a message over and over again” he said shocking everyone.

“Show us Santa” Carolina finally said something her voice hoarse. She sounded broken, like part of her had died when Donut died.

_ “Donut...I don’t know if your going to see this” Washington’s image was floating in the middle of all of them. “I wanted to let you know...that night...Seeing you on the floor so broken like that.” Washington’s voice was thick, watery even.  _

_ “I never been that scared in my life. Never got so close to failing like what they put the Alpha through. Forcing him to watch Texas die over and over again yet never able to save her.” Washington said head bowing in the recording. “I know that a lot of what you did; believing Chrovos’s lies...It’s my fault.” _

_ “I didn’t have to shoot you that day. I could have made the effort sooner to get to know you... Maybe we could have had more time...real time together.” Washington said sadly.  _

_ “I wish I could say I can remember all of this. That after we win and I know we will because you’ll make sure the reds and blues will make it right. But we both know to fix it I have to get shot again. I have to take the brain damage. I highly doubt I’m going to remember any of this. I’m sorry for that.” _

_ “I never want to hurt you again yet it’s all I can ever seem to do to you.” Washington said brokenly. For a moment he just sat there, head down, paused. Slowly Washington raised his head. “It’s why this time Franklin; I’m going to say goodbye. I’m going to do what Alpha couldn’t do. Epsilon would kick my ass for leaving you this. For breaking up with you over a video but there isn’t any other way I could do this.” _

_ “I love you but I have to let you go. Set you free. You deserve so much better then what I can give you. You shouldn’t be some private. You shouldn’t put up with the crap you do. You are so much better then any of us ever gave your credit for. You brought me back into the game, got the reds and blues to wake up. You’re a hero. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.” Washington said.  _

_ “God I want nothing more then for you to make me see you again after all of this is over. I want to spend the rest of my life with you in my bed, at my side. But we both know I’m not going to listen to you. So this is the only thing I can do to be kind and even then I know it’s still being cruel to you. I really do mean it Franklin. When I told you I love you. That I would die loving you. I guess in away, the man I am now. The one who loves you. Will die in a few hours maybe days from now, to make things right.” Washington said before he blinked out. _

Washington felt lost. When the hell did he record that? Who the hell was Chrovos? Carolina broke into a sob again hugging herself. “End the playback Santa” She said as it started over. Donut died watching that on play back like her father did with the message from her mother before she was killed in battle. Oh how that hurt.

“Carolina?” Washington called her name looking for answers. She shook her head.

“It’s better this way Wash...It’s better if you don’t know, if none of you know what happened. Better to leave things the way they are now. It’s what he wanted, what we all agreed to when you all knew” She said but god it still fucking hurt. She'd seen Donut love Washington with all his heart. Asked her to take care of the man he loved after he was gone. The man she loved now that she was over York.

“Bullshit!” Washington growled at her. “What the hell happened that had me leaving something like that?! What fucking night was I talking about?!” He demand answered with so much anger. “What brain damage?” He asked a moment later more scared then anything else.

“Hypoxia...the gun shot starved your brain of oxygen in the time it took to get you here after you were shot” She answer that question. She shouldn’t know the answer she knew. She should have let Grey say it but she wanted to do it right this time around. Do it right this time around for Donut’s sake.

“I know a place here on Chorus that would be a good place for Donut” Locus said softly. Head bowed. “I respect him more then the rest of you. Even though you guys called for his help then beat the shit out of him. Nothing I offered would make him turn against any of you. When I asked him why he told me that if he turned against his fucked up family then I would never trust him because I would know his loyalty could be bought. He didn’t think I was a monster even though he knew what Felix and I were doing before the rest of you did.” Locus said looking at his hands. “I took him there once when Sarge and Washington were busy with Doyle and his army at the time. He stood there not talking for hours just took in the view. It was the only time I seen him look even some what happy and not that fake act he put on all the time.” He said.

“I’ll go with you to see it for myself” Kimball said before anyone else could go. “Carolina get your ass in a bed same to you Wash. I’ll handle the funeral details for the private”

“Major” Carolina corrected. “Before...Sarge promoted him to Major when we all knew that Washington wasn't the only one who had a role to play in fixing the mess Temple, Tucker and I made. So it’s Major Donut” She said making it so that everyone would know what the red team used to say goodbye to Donut in their own way.

“When Locus and I get back I want a full report from you Carolina about what the hell happened.” Kimball said.

“I want to be there.”

“All of us want to be there” Tucker said for all the reds and blues.

“We are going to need lots of drinks.” Carolina said leaving it at that.

_Because you live, I live_

Carolina and Santa finished showing Kimball, Thompson, Locus, Jensen and her team, Grey and the rest of the reds and blues everything that she knew. By herself she was on her second bottle of whiskey. Everyone else was still taking it in. She even shared with them all what her and Donut talked about just before the end came. The kiss they shared.

“Santa see if Donut left Wash a hidden message in his armor. Don’t play it just let us know if there was one” Carolina asked after a moment.

“I already looked after I picked up that Donut’s armor was playing one.” Santa said. Looking at Washington to see if the other wanted to play it.

“Erase it” Washington said looking at the ground. “It wasn’t a message to the me that I am now. But the one who walked with him through that shit show” He said.

_“Wash...” Donut said brokenly. “God there is so much to say yet not a whole lot of time to say it...” Donut started again. “I guess the biggest part of it is that I love you and that this...”_

_“What happens....happened to me isn’t your fault David. You being there or not; it wouldn’t save my life. I was always going to die at Temples hands. I can see that now. Just like you always had to get shot in the neck. Had to get sick from it...” Donut took his helmet off. Wiping the tears that were only on the left side of his face away. His Azure eye held so much heartbreak, pain yet love. A love so deep, pure. The right side so badly scarred, the whole eye lost years before._

_“You gave me one night...one night where I didn’t question where I was or what I was doing. If my life mattered. So it makes dying this time around both better and so much harder to do.” He said softly, the tears never stopping._

_“It’s okay to forget me. It’s okay to hate me, to loath me for this. You should give Carolina a second chance. You should let yourself love her. Fuck, guess this is how Epsilon felt making his goodbye video for us...” Donut chuckled but there was no joy to it, just pain, sorrow and a heaviness to him._

_“Take care of them the best you can Wash. Don’t close the reds and blues out of your heart, your life like you cut me out. They make you a better man. It’s the reason I backed you over Locus. I forgive you David. I. Forgive. You!” Donut stressed that part. “I hope you live a long happy life. That you and the others; you guys get that peace you all wanted so much.” Donut said, pausing for a moment. “I love you David; Goodbye Wash” he added softly before the footage cuts out._

Santa played it regardless of what he said. Carolina took another drink. It was hard to hear that message. Donut saying goodbye to both versions of Washington. The one who loved him, saw him and the one who ignored and hurt him. Hated that Donut knew that this Washington loved her more he loved anyone else and said it was okay to love her. “Are you sure you wish to erase this?” Santa asked.

“Yeah” Washington said shortly that he had to hear it the first time around.

“The major’s funeral will be tomorrow at dusk. We have a grave stone that will hold the place for the real one.” Kimball said softly. She pulled up the one that Locus designed and picked out. It was a rose court and marble stone of a guardian angel. ‘Major Franklin Delano Donut of the Red team; guardian of Chorus, of the gods and hero of the universe. Beloved and gone far too soon’ was what he put on it. “This is what Locus picked out. Anything to add or change?” She asked the men and woman who knew Donut better then she ever did and now it was too late to change that.

“Can we put him in a cherry wood coffin? Red lining, blue pillow for his head?” Caboose asked his voice so tiny.

“Of course Caboose” Kimball said softly. “I have set it up to have you all stay in the presidential suit in the hotel till you all decide on what you want to do from here on wards” She said knowing they would be around for awhile grieving. Locus passed the bottle of rum he was drinking from to Kimball who took a drink from it herself without a word. No one talked but no one left the room.

 _Because you live, there's a reason why_  
_I carry on when I lose the fight_  
_I want to give what you've given me_  
_Always_

Everyone gathered in a mountain valley. It wasn’t big, but there was a stunning view from a cliff looking over the valley. The forest around it surrounded but ice and snow looked and felt tropical. Even though it was the middle of the day, they could still see stars in the sky that were faintly there. See the moon that looked so much larger here then anywhere else on the planet.

Donut’s grave itself was on the cliff where only the reds and blues. Kimball Thompson and Locus stood, everyone else was in the valley, Something set up so everyone below to hear the eulogy.

“We come together at this time, not in joy or celebration but in sorrow and deep remorse.” Thompson started. “I never had the honor of meeting Major Franklin Delano Donut. I only heard stories told about the Reds and Blues as the stories of their adventures started to go around the UNSC. When I first heard about the Major. I thought him a joke, thought what was said about him was exaggerations. In a way I was right about that. The stories I heard. They never got him right.” He said.

“I know that now after hearing about the bravery he held. It’s one thing to walk into a battle thinking your going to die but not know when or how. It’s is another thing that few ever show to walk to one’s death knowing how its to go, how painful, or long it would be. That is something we like to think that only the Spartans have strength to do. The major showed us that mere men and women that we are all have that strength in us. I wish I got to meet the Major, got to hear the innuendos he was always saying. I wish I got to learn from him how to throw a grenade like he could.”

“Sadly that isn’t something I will ever get the honor of doing. It does fall to me to have the honor to inform all of you that for the Majors selfless act of heroism. The UNSC has awarded him the status of Galactic hero. To bury the Major with the Galactic cross. He is one of three in the whole universe to awarded one. The Master Chief being one who we all know to be awarded one who is still alive. His death saved the Universe, I have no doubt of that from the report I heard of how his death came about.” He said before picking up the cross and pinning in the lining of the coffin the tarp body laid with in. The other one he had he wouldn’t announce it now. It would be in poor taste but he walked over to Washington and handed it to him. “You Agent Washington have also been awarded one. I didn’t think it right to announce that to everyone at a funeral” He said handing the metal in it’s case to the freelancer who stood there. Washington took it but said nothing, looking at the coffin beside the hole in the ground.

Tucker walked up to the mic. “Donut...he wasn’t part of the Blue team. I didn’t like him when he first came to Blood Gulch. On his first day there, he bought the blue flag from Caboose. Granted Church and I allowed that to happen when we told him to guard the flag for some General that would come by at any time to inspect it.” Tucker chuckle sadly at that memory. “I wasn’t going to be the one to talk today. Caboose wanted to; thought he could get up before all of you today as we all say our goodbyes to Donut; to his best friend. I don’t blame Caboose for not being able too.”

“Donut...for those of us who could get past his over flamboyant act, get past that seemingly endless happy optimism. Get past the innuendoes that came from the brain damage he was left with after nearly being killed from an grenade to the head. Donut was kind, patient, loving. We never told it to him when he was alive but he was the mother hen of our team. He would listen to any of our problems. Hell he would listen to me go on and on about picking up chicks and he would help where he could. He took care of us. Kept all of us from killing each other more then once.” Tucker said.

“We all over looked him and he let us. It wasn’t right but it happened. No one gave him credit where it was do. He saved Chorus as much as Donald Doyle did. If it wasn’t for Donut’s quick thinking, Felix would have had the sword sooner, could have killed all of us before we had time to get our shit together to stop it. To win that war.” Tucker said. “We blamed him for his roll in pushing Doyle to his death but we never did thank him for his roll that led to Doyle being a hero that united this planet. Doyle, if you can hear us up in heaven; take care of Donut better then we did down here.” Tucker said stepping down.

Grif hugged him in passing. “No one on the red team wanted to say anything. If we did...it means that this time...this time was real." He paused to trying to find the words. "That he really died and we left our rookie behind to die alone. If none of us came up here; if we didn’t say anything then there was a chance that he could show up at any time like he had in the past and things would go back to normal.” Grif said. Sarge was as much of a wreck as Caboose was both sobbing and hugging the other. Simmons hadn’t said a word since Carolina told all of them what really happened.

“But how many times can someone cheat death? How can things go back to normal when the threat one faces is a god wanting to end all of creation?” Grif continued on. “Donut knew he wasn’t coming back from that mission. Knew it the moment he came back to life after the first time he died the way he did. It wasn’t a pretty death being ripped apart by the sheer power of time itself. It might have been quick to us but I don’t think it was a quick one for him both times he faced it. I don’t know how much of feeling his own body being shredded into unidentifiable bloody ooze he was aware; alive for.”

“What I do know is that I never would have been able to die like that even once. I wouldn’t have the strength to watch the person I love get hurt to fix time itself. I couldn’t take my death being that to ensure it could never be used to create another paradox again. Granted we all know I’m selfish, I’m lazy. Donut; my rookie wasn’t. He was loyal, he was a true soldier of the red team. He knew how to fight. How to protect and get us to get our asses in gear to save what needed to be saved.”

“He could have told us from the start that stopping the paradox we were in, to stop the god from going free to kill us all he would have to die. He didn’t. Think on that for a minute. He had time to tell all of us that he had to die in agony, die alone. He could have told us how scared he was. How much he really didn’t want to do it. Yet instead, he told us when there was no other way. He put time and everything else before himself. No amount of awards or promotions; there is nothing we the living can do to pay that back. This, this isn’t for Donut. Where ever his soul is it isn’t here; it isn’t in what is left of his body. This funeral is for us. To give us all comfort, to say we knew him, talk about him and that we learned from him. I learned from Donut that he was my brother in arms, my rookie who often got ignored, told to shut up or walked away from as he talked because most of the time it was more of a pain in the ass to listen then it was to be nice and listen to him; to hear him out. Nothing I do now will help him, will change the things I’ve done to him.” Grif said leaving things at that. Simmons punched him for being a dick at the end before hugging him, crying on Grif’s shoulder. Grif just took it, holding Simmons to him, his head resting against Simmons head. He didn't care if he cried at this moment with his lover, his friends.

Kimball sighed walking up. “This valley, theses mountains. This was a place Donut loved. I didn’t know that. I found that out after he died. Locus was the one who first brought Donut here. Saw the peace and joy this place brought to Donut. I’ve put this whole area under a natural park. The area protected. While I plan to put in a path up to Donut’s death, the only ones I will ever consider to build homes here if they so wish is the reds and blues. It was their man they lost. Though Donut was a Champion of Chorus. He was part of the reds and blues long before he ever came to this planet.” Kimball said before giving the signal for Palomo, Bitters, Smith and Locus to lower the coffin into the ground. To start filling the ground back in. She turned the mic off. 

_Leaving people to do what they wanted now._  
_Because you live and breathe_  
_Because you make me believe in myself_  
_When nobody else can help_  
_Because you live girl_  
_My world_

_Has twice as many stars in the sky_

Carolina watched Washington. Over the year since Donut’s death, He worked hard to deal with the hypoxia. For the most part he could remember things on his own when he wanted to. It was just harder in the mornings and with big sudden changes. Everyone helped him when the could. They build two homes in the valley on the other side from the grave. They could see the head stone any part of the day they wanted or needed too.

“Carolina...what are you doing out here?” Washington asked joining her on the deck. She looked at him. She slid over on the swing. Making room for him to join her. He sat beside her.

“Sitting, praying to Donut and the others letting them know about our day” Carolina said. It was something she didn’t use to do but that was before she knew that Gods were real. She leaned into him. “You okay?” Bring Donut up was still touchy with Washington and a no go zone around Caboose. Sarge acted like he never knew Donut. Tucker, Grif, Simmons and her would talk about him from time to time alone but it was rare.

“I’m alive...” Washington said. “You seemed okay that Donut and I were basically dating for a month” he said being the one to bring it up. “I just don’t get how he could say he loved me yet tell me to be with you.”

“Remember before the Blues and Reds how close we were?” Carolina asked watching him he nodded. “I fell in love with you then, we both were just too scared that we would lose the other too voice our feelings. To be together. What happened in the Ever-when...as real as it was for us, we knew it also wasn’t real. You got some time where things were different. You never shot Donut, got to see him as a kindred soul who got what it was like what we did to you when you were just a rookie. I get that. He knew that. I think you knew it too.” She said softly.

“Your not mad that I might have slept with him?” Washington asked.

“You most likely did” She said with a smirk. “Yeah Wash, I’m okay. The version of you who slept with him. He knew what it was like to both be shot and never shot. That Wash fell hard for the Donut who saved him. He died, giving you back to me and Donut...He fallowed the man he loved into the after life. At least that’s what I believe.” She said. She liked to think Donut was happy in heaven with his version of Washington talking with Church, Epsilon and the rest of her fallen team as they watched over them.

Washington leaned in and kissed her. It started off so gently, shyly yet built into an inferno threatening to burn them both from the inside out. She let him pull her onto his lap. Even through the jeans they both wore she could feel his erection. “So long as it’s okay that I love you” he whispered into her neck that he was kissing.

“Wash” She moaned at the feel of him kissing her neck. Over the last year he had to admit that she saved him from killing his self out of shame, regret, the ghost of Donut haunting him or felt like that to him. She was the reason he worked so hard to get as functional as he was. His hands on her hips. Her hands cupping his head as he kissed his way back up to her lips. “David” she gasped. He grinned at that.

“Always gasp my name like that Jen, scream it if you want. I don’t want to be Wash with you anymore” He whispered rocking his erection against her. His hands sliding up under her shirt. She moaned at the feel of his rough hot hands cupping, kneading her breasts.

“Then take me to your bed David before we end up giving one or more of our men a free show” She moaned before yelping as he stood up keeping her to him. She clung to him as he carried her up to his room. He kicked the door closed. took her shirt off on the way to the bed. He sucked on one nipple, his fingers toying with the other one.

Carolina’s tugged at his shirt wanting it off so she hand more of his body to touch, to drive him wild with need to fill her. Make him feel as crazy as he was making her feel from need for more. He let her take his shirt off looking down at her. “I really do love you Jen” He said honestly, openly yet there was a hidden fear and a pain there that would never leave him. He leaned up and pulled him into a deep soul searing kiss.”

“I love you too David” She whispered back pulling him down with her into another kiss reaching between them to grab his erection.

 _Because you live and breathe_  
_Because you make me believe in myself_  
_When nobody else can help_  
_Because you live girl_  
_My world_  
_Has everything I need to survive_  
_Because you live, I live_  


The sound of a child’s laughter rang out. Under the shade of a tree far enough away to be missed Donut stood and watched Washington and Caboose place with a small girl who looked like Washington and Carolina. He smiled at that. It made him happy to see Washington look so happy to kiss Carolina who clung to him in the long deep kiss. Everyone looked happy where they were.

He caught the ball that was kicked by Caboose towards him. The girl ran towards him. He walked towards her enough for everyone to see him but not hear them if she talked to him. “Who are you?” She asked guarded. So much like her parents.

“An old friend of your parents.” Donut said kneeling down to her level handing her the ball. She eyes it for a moment then him with steel and emerald eyes.

“Delana!” Carolina called. The girl snatched the ball from him backing away bit before turning to run back to her parents. Donut smiled at that. They named their daughter after him. It touched him. He stood where he was watching as Tucker picked her up Caboose making a fuss over her. Carolina and Washington aimed their guns at him.

“He said he was an old friend momma” Delana said noticing the guns out. Everyone looked at her. Donut stepped into the portal taking him back to the labyrinth. Sighed warmly at that.

“Get what you needed Donut?” Genkin’s asked from where he was trapped.

“Yeah, I got to see how it played out for them after all this time having you to talk to.” Donut answered warmly. Genkins growled at that. He like it better when Donut was too done to watch him and wander the halls of the labyrinth looking for the fleeing hollow echos of the version of Washington that could never be.

“Carolina...it’s gone” The portal was still open and both could hear them.

“Leave it Wash...what ever that was...It didn’t hurt Delana. Who knows maybe it really was Donut who gave her the ball back” Carolina’s voice came. Donut changed it to the halls of the labyrinth.

“I might be the cosmic joke to you but you were the one who made me your warden Genkins. You chose this for us both.” Donut said before leaving the god to his entrapment. He walked back into the halls that have been his home for eons. “The other version of you has a daughter with Carolina, she’s cute” Donut said with a grin seeing one other being who lived in the halls with him, the one Genkins knew of but never saw.

“I bet” Washington said with a grin pulling Donut to him. “Good because it means I get your full attention again. Now that you stop wondering what happened after your mortal death” He asked with a grin before leaning in to claim Donut’s lips, his right hand cupping the now flawless skin on that side of Donut’s face. Donut moaned softly into the loving kiss.

“Not my fault it was jarring going from dying to being back in this place as it was first created.” Donut huffed softly as Washington nipped at his neck. His head dropping back, a moan falling from his parted lips.

"Donut's Back!" Church's voice laughed from somewhere close by.

"Doesn't mean you can go spy on them" Epsilon said with a sigh.

"Men...I swear" Texas groaned out. "It's only going to get so much worse when Tucker gets here" She added with a groan getting laughs from others. Donut couldn't help by smile at that. He couldn't wait to see the reaction Carolina was going to have learning that her freelancer team was also in the labyrinth. After all the Reds and Blue were special, magical even because their fate was to be the ones to keep Chrovos locked away.

_I live_


End file.
